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| top A journal of commentary, narrative and poetry about navigating through life February 25, 2004
The Words We Speak
Words are alive and powerful. By the words of my mouth, I can
proffer life, love, and renewed vision. And from the same mouth
I can issue words that lead to abandoned hope, pain and
confusion. Two forms of communication with words that create
these negative outcomes are cynicism and sarcasm.
They are manifested through the tongue and the pen and their use
is prolific both in non-Christian and Christian cultures. What
underlies these two communication forms?
Revealing the Roots
All words have roots, a history and culture in which they were
birthed and gained meaning. Often this word history (or
etymology) is quite revealing. Let's look at the underlying
etymology and definition of these two words:
Cynicism:
Root: from Greek kynikos, literally, doglike
Sarcasm:
Root:
from Greek sarkasmos, from sarkazein, to tear flesh like dogs,
bite the lips in rage, speak bitterly, sneer
Our minds and our communication have been invaded with these two
forms of thought. It has infected our philosophy and
expectations of life, leadership, and the Church. We sometimes
mistakenly call these two dark forms, "wit" or "humor" or
"clever analysis." They often masquerade as and adopt
intellectualism only because the intelligent mind can wield the
swords of cynicism and sarcasm with the deftness and speed
necessary to cut, but avoid being cut. In truth, cynicism and
sarcasm frequently are shallow thinking and evasive behavior.
A Judger, Not a Lover
What is the outcome if I employ these two devices in service of
my words and thought? The first thing that comes to mind is that
they do not manifest any of the fruits of the spirit: love, joy,
peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, hope,
enduring all things, not taking into account a wrong suffered,
embracing one another in love, sacrificing myself for one
another’s welfare, just as Christ did for you me. Rather, if I
play the cynic I am a judger not a lover. I use my "prophetic
gift" of cynicism to draw up forgone conclusions and futures for
anyone I deem unworthy enough to receive my judgment. I target
those who do not comply with my standards or beliefs--or who
have inflicted pain upon me either intentionally or
unintentionally. Even more revealing, often my target victim has
done nothing to warrant my attack.
Exercising cynicism and sarcasm undermines faith. When I think
and speak in the cynic mode I speak forth darkness instead of
light. I proclaim that God could do nothing to remedy the
so-called wrong being committed or use it for my benefit. I
foretell a dismal future that this dark form of communication
claims is either already in progress or lies in wait. It is
revealing that if I adopt the voice of the cynic or sarcastic
one I will rarely pray earnestly for my target, but rather, will
summarily dispense with them in a few deft words.
Nothing Funny About It
Whether intentional or not, when I exercise cynicism or sarcasm
I manifest judgment and contempt for those who are in my sights.
The disturbing thing is that, sometimes this form of tearing and
biting communication is cloaked in humor, “just a good laugh.”
And, for the bystander, humor tends to slip by the spiritual
safeguards of their internal censor. This leaves them vulnerable
to absorb the graphic details of the cynic’s flesh-tearing.
Indeed, the spectator may easily become an accomplice, drawn in
by the cynic’s entertaining juxtaposition of clever analysis and
biting humor.
The naked, bare bones of the cynic’s script, when stripped of
its humor and analytical guise, reads something like this, "You
are judged in absentia, despite my less than full knowledge of
the motives of your heart and my utter ignorance of the voice
and working of God in your life. I find you irrevocably guilty
and I care not that you are the temple of the living God, a son
of God, for whom Christ died. Case closed!”
There is nothing funny about it. Read the “red letter” words of
Jesus, “But I tell you every careless word that people speak,
they shall give an accounting for it in the Day of Judgment. For
by your words you will be justified and by your words you will
be condemned.” (Matthew 12:36-37) Are we laughing yet?
Like a Wheel of Fire
By the words of my mouth, I can set fires that last for
eternity. James 3:6 states, "And the tongue is a fire, the very
world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that
which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of
our life, and is set on fire by hell."
The Greek for the term, “course” in the phrase, “...the course
of our life...” is the word trochos. It literally means,
“the course run by a wheel” or in this case, a flaming wheel.
This image is drawn from a Greek metaphor of an ever-rolling
wheel of fire; the premise of the concept is that words and
deeds are not temporal but eternal, and once set in motion
(e.g., released from our mouth or our pen) they continue to roll
on from age to age, for all eternity, burning a fiery swath
through future generations. That is a sobering and weighty
responsibility that I personally do not want to bear.
Defense and Comfort that is None
When a leader, friend, Christian brother or family member hurts
me or does not live up to my expectations, I may choose to
utilize the cynical or sarcastic sword to cut, disqualify, or
reduce their stature. I may also unwittingly adopt these devices
as a means of so-called protection against future hurt,
rejection and disappointment. But this action serves to be
anything but a defense or protection from pain. It merely sets
me up for greater hurt and rejection. More importantly, it
erodes my faith in God's protection, comfort, and promise to
work "all things together for good."
This supposed defense will subvert my connection with many of
the members of the body of Christ and especially with those in
authority. It will quietly fill me with contempt and mistrust,
providing the fuel for unforgiveness to burn long. And, there is
a serious side effect: as I do this I will expend my energy and
time on a symptomatic solution, diverting my attention and focus
away from the underlying, fundamental, more humbling, solution.
Isolation and More Pain
Walk with me through a scenario for a moment: Imagine that God’s
plan is to mold and shape my character through the ministry of
various members of the Body of Christ, imperfect as they are.
Then, imagine that along the way I am hurt and misunderstood by
one or more of these ministers of His spirit. They say and do
things that are not fair and definitely not pleasant! It appears
to me that they accused and attacked me without cause. I did not
sign up for this kind of abuse when I signed up with God, did I?
Now, at this juncture I face the most important issue in the
scenario, what to do in reaction? Do I attempt to protect myself
from more pain by insulating and separating myself, resorting to
cynicism or sarcasm--or do I face INTO this trial, bear the pain
and allow God to further change me and bring growth?
Imagine that I choose the former alternative--separation. The
internal rules of separation often demand, for personal
vindication, that I vilify and besmirch the character of the
perpetrator(s) of this crime against me. To this end, what
serves better than to rewrite my story and theirs, so that I am
the victim of thoughtless, selfish, self-aggrandizing oafs whose
impure motives are driving their lives and actions--causing me
great pain?
Given their behavior and my pain, evidence seems to materialize
out of thin air that supports my revised story--in fact helps to
write it. At this stage I will discover that my eye becomes
skilled in finding the flaws in my antagonist; my inner cynic is
amazingly gifted at assigning the worst motives and desires to
my adversary’s every word and action (Somehow I seem to
conveniently forget that we are brothers in Christ). Because I
feel wounded and disenfranchised, I wound--with tearing
sarcasm, manifesting derision and disdain, while broadcasting my
anguish to others.
Now consider this. What if God has given a special gift, message
or a bit of wisdom, to the person who I have targeted in this
manner? In God’s propensity to employ the ironic, this person
may possesses the very ministry or words of encouragement that I
need, that will help set me free or guide me in my relationship
and walk with God. But, can I receive it now?
Exceptions and Motivations
The more I grow in the things of God and accrue experiences in
life the more aware I become of the "Exceptions Principle." It
reads like this:
When making a blanket statement or declaration, i.e., a rule
that I intend will cover all instances or contingencies of any
particular subject or issue -- 99% of the time I will, within a
week, stumble across exceptions to my rule or declaration.
It usually becomes a humbling experience when I forget this
principle, but I am learning. So, I need to clarify that my
declarations regarding this issue of cynicism and sarcasm are no
exception to the Exception Principle.
For example, here is a biblical exception. Elijah, prophet of
God to Israel, used sarcasm on Mount Carmel in a showdown with
the prophets of Baal. The Lord told Elijah to challenge the
prophets to a contest (more like a shoot out) to establish for
all Israel, who was God, Baal or Yahweh. The deal was this: Each
side would build an altar and place a sacrifice upon it. When
they called upon their god, if Baal answered by fire and
consumed the sacrifice, he was god; but if only Yahweh answered
by fire, he alone was God.
They accepted Elijah's challenge. After they built their altar
and placed a sacrifice upon it, they shouted and leaped about
the altar from morning until noon--but were unable to rouse Baal
in order to bring down fire. So Elijah helpfully suggested,
"You'll have to shout louder than that ... to catch the
attention of your god! Perhaps he is talking to someone, or is
out sitting on the toilet, or maybe he is away on a trip, or is
asleep and needs to be wakened!" (1 Kings 18:27 (TLB))
Elijah, of course, was employing sarcasm on behalf of the Lord
and I am sure it was not well received by the prophets of Baal.
Was Elijah out of order? I doubt it. In fact, these comments
were quite likely inspired and motivated by Yahweh, whose
rightful position as the living God was being declared in high
definition THX surround-sound to Israel. God can defend his name
any way he chooses and if it involves mocking false gods, it is
unquestionably correct. I do not plan to dispute this point with
Him.
So, what is my point? The godly or ungodly attributes and
outcomes of my words are most often contingent upon the
motivation and alignment of my heart. If my heart and words are
in alignment with the leading of God's spirit they will minister
life and truth, albeit, sometimes even spirit led truth is
painful (witness the history of God's declarations to Israel).
But what will be the nature of my words and their effect if I am
led by fear, or anger for being unjustly treated, or by a desire
for revenge, or by my contempt for another? In this case, it
does not matter what communication mode I choose; the results
will be harmful.
My summary principle is this: I try to ask God to help me
examine the motivation of my heart before I speak. Yes, then
even cynicism and sarcasm could be productive as opposed to
harmful--if it is Spirit-led. This principle, by the way, falls
into the one percent exception to the Exceptions Principle.
The Spirit of the Lord is Upon Me...
Barring your next Mount Carmel showdown, cynicism and sarcasm
are usually neither appropriate nor fruitful. Even in their
etymological roots, they are violent forms of speech. Whatever
the reason I might use them, they are usually not
effective communication tools to build what God wants to
establish in my life and they do not speak his will into
the lives of others. By design, they avoid addressing the
real issues and create mixed messages. The hearer is usually
asking, “Did he really mean what he just said? Was there a
hidden message for me in his dark humor? Are things really as
bleak as he just suggested they are, or was that supposed to be
funny? Can I believe him? Can I entrust him with a role in
ministry or leadership--without worrying that he will often
needlessly confuse and offend others?” Chaos and confusion are
not of God. Neither are we to be ministers of these.
It is already a great challenge to assure that the right message
is being sent when using direct, sincere forms of communication,
much less adding these darker, mixed forms. There are many
wounded souls inside and outside the Church, who are easily hurt
or misled by mixed communication; for these-- the afflicted, the
broken hearted, the captives, the prisoners, those who mourn,
the faint of heart--our hearts and the words of our mouth must
be tender and full of love, of light and not darkness. And for
this we are being “...held accountable...”
My Prayer:
Lord, make me aware of the motivations of my heart and the
devices that undermine the work of your Spirit in me and others.
You have called me to give myself for others and not to
insulate, separate, tear and bite. Show me where cynicism or
sarcasm has invaded my mind and deliver me from resorting to
these destructive forms of compensation and defense. Help me
face into my trials. Continue to change me so that I manifest
your love, power and truth. Give me grace and strength to speak
forth peace while the storm rages about me. It is you alone who
establishes in me the desire to speak forth your love and
compassion in the face of railing and being spurned. When my
natural eyes see only disappointment and pain, take me beyond
natural sight to minister hope and faith. By your Spirit I will
speak truth, life, hope, encouragement and renewed vision. I ask
this in Jesus’ name. Amen.
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